I have to be honest. I love the masculine figures of some transwomen, and I find it beautiful and unique as hell. I love my masculine figure except when it gets me misgendered, like it did today… If people didn’t misgender me so much I would feel really confident and really pretty. :/
If someone asks you, as a trans person, if you’re pre-op or post-op, is it more or less appropriate than to ask you if you have a penis or a vagina?
I feel like it’s more, because I feel like it’s slightly less invasive, but on the other hand, it’s basically the same question…
What do you think?
So I was taking selfies today with my new favorite outfit, and as I was waiting in line for Subway today I was looking at my school ID. The picture was taken right before my senior year of high school. And the difference is astounding.
I am so pleased by this progress guys, you have no idea. It’s like I’m not even the same person ^^
After two days of going full time, I’ve done a bit of thinking…
Like, going as a woman all the time, being pre-op and pre-hormones is a bit bittersweet. It’s difficult to tell ever if you’re passing. People tell me I’m passing, and that’s great and all, but I can’t ever get rid of the thought that I’m not. The cafeteria lady called me sir today, and she was the first person while being full time to say that. But it still makes me concerned.
Then at the end of the day, you get home, and want to take off your bra, so you do… And it’s like you’ve forgotten you don’t have actual breast-tissue boobs. So it comes off and your chest is flat (and in my case a tad bit flabby), but at least having the tight bra off feels better. You take your makeup off and it’s like you see someone different in the mirror. You take off your clothes (or change into pajamas or go to the bathroom), and your genitals are still masculine.
But while I’ve been going full time, at least for me, I’ve noticed a lot of things that have made me smile. People calling me ma’am instead of sir on a regular basis. People getting my name right. People commenting on my appearance. It’s a lot of nice turnout, but at the end of the day, everything comes off and I feel like someone I’m not. At the end of the day, I feel like a guy.
Going full time has done things for me so far. Granted, I’m only three days in, so I can’t make much of a statement, but already I’m keeping my head higher and remaining a little more confident. People’s silent judgments of the things I do and what I wear and what I look like don’t bother me as much. I still see the looks on people’s faces and worry, but I have a bit more confidence now, and hopefully more even sooner.
And maybe it’s just new-quarter-motivation, but I’ve been being responsible so far. Again, it can’t be easily determined from solely two or three days of this, but I’ve gone to bed early and woken up early for classes in order to make sure I get myself pretty for school and work. When I have to be a lot more self conscious about everything, I feel like I’m getting shit done. And that’s good. Here’s hoping it all sticks.
It’s gonna be a hell of a ride.
Beginning tomorrow morning, and continuing onward ad infinitum excepting days when I’m with my family or required to be my birth gender, I will be going full time as a woman. I’ve prepped my wardrobe and all my stuff to accomodate this. All I need to do now is send out my coming out e-mail to all of my coworkers, and I’ll be fine.
To be honest, I’m scared to death. I don’t know what I can expect to have happen, nor do I know what people might say. But I’m ready.
At this moment, Jenny waited 3 minutes before typing any additional text because she didn’t know what to say.
I’m just scared, you guys. .-.
I wish my mom and dad would STOP GIVING ME SHIT ABOUT MY HAIR.
Yes, it’s long. I know it’s long. I’m growing it out. BECAUSE I WANT TO. That’s all they need to know, but for some reason I feel like I have to REMIND THEM that I’m a GIRL and not a GUY.
So when I tell you that I hate wearing my hair in a pony tail (despite how “professional” it looks and might keep me from getting failed job interviews and such) because it gives me headaches, IT IS NOT MY PROBLEM when “growing out your hair for no particular reason is giving me a headache.” (Dad) This is my fucking body and with it I’m gonna do what I want. I’ll learn from my own god damn mistakes. If someone doesn’t hire me because I’ve got unprofessional hair? MY MISTAKE, I’LL FUCKING FIX IT MYSELF. If someone finds my hair unprofessional while wearing a tuxedo (which I hope I never have to do again), MY FUCKING MISTAKE, I’LL FIX IT MYSELF!
This applies to everything else in my god damn life too. I’m getting to the point where I’m starting to realize that my body is my business, and as a legal adult I can do with it anything that I want to.
I’m TWENTY YEARS OLD. TWENTY. YEARS OLD. I’m mature enough to understand that there may be consequences to my actions and that I have to learn from them. I was that mature like 5 years ago, but apparently it didn’t sink in then and it’s CLEARLY not sinking in now. Also, as a legal adult, while you may WANT me to do something, only I get to say whether or not I’m doing it.
And yeah, I’m sure that on my mother’s father’s side we have a common gene for male pattern baldness. Whoopdie freakin’ doo! Because the second I get on antiandrogens, the chances of that happening DIE. No matter what genetics say should happen, those particular genes affect me hormonally, which I can change with a little spironolactone.
I do not care how professional it looks to wear my hair in a pony tail. It shows so much cheek and forehead it looks like masculine as hell.
I do not care how “handsome” it makes me look.
I do not care that it gives you a headache that I’m growing my hair out because I can.
I do not care how it might affect me getting a job or a career or anything like that in the future.
I do not care that it might make me see better when I’m driving. It’s never caused a problem before while I drove. It’s just hair.
WHY CAN WE NOT DROP IT YET?!
Seriously, this shouldn’t still be going on. It’s long, but I’m taking exceptionally good care of my hair. I wash it every or nearly every day (and will start every single day this summer if I don’t have a recurring trend yet). It looks nice. And when I tuck the left side behind an ear, put on some makeup and use a hairband, I look GORGEOUS.
It’s my goddamn life, and I’m really starting to get tired of having to listen to you give me crap about the things I choose to do. Why can’t I just live my life in fucking peace?! UGH!
So many people have said (or said in the form of a ‘like’) so many nice things about the last selfie I uploaded and I’m so flattered. Thank you all, you’re awesome <3
I was wearing a new outfit today to the mall, and with the makeup and the headband and everything, I feel so passable and pretty today. >w<
I was looking for socks in the mens’ department today (since no one sells size 13/14 womens socks), and three different people asked me if I needed help finding something—they looked at me like I was lost.